It is nice to have Sophie home on Fridays (no school). Sometimes, however, I think she has too much time on her hands. For instance, a couple of weeks ago she forwarded me the following fables. I quite like them, and thought it was only fair to share with you. You can thank me later. (I resisted the strong urge to edit, by the way.)
The Naughty Salamander
Once upon a time there was a nice little salamander named Sally. Sally was usually a really good girl, but had been going through a rebellious phase. One day, she and her mom were out on the town, shopping their heads off.
“Look Sally! There is a crazy deal over at that one store. We should go!” Sally’s mom said.
“No. I like where I am. I am not leaving.” Sally replied.
“Look Sally! There’s the president! Lets go shake his hand!”
“No. I like it where I am. I am not leaving” Sally said again.
“Sally!!!!! There’s a dinosaur behind you!!!!!!!!!” Sally’s mom screeched.
“NO. I LIKE IT WHERE I AM. I AM NOT...” Sally screamed as she was picked up, sprinkled with salt and pepper, and popped into the dinosaurs mouth.
Moral- Listen to your mom so you aren’t eaten by dinosaurs.
The Scream
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Moral- Don’t scream for too long or else you take up valuable space that could be used for a fable, and don’t scream so long that you turn purple.
Smelling Like Apples
One day a nice lady was walking across the street. She smelled nice, like apples. As she walked along, a shark jumped from his tank on a hot dog cart and started following her. Then a jellyfish started hopping after her too. Then a Cobra started slithering behind, and a dog with rabies chased her too. One after one, Venomous spiders, frogs, snakes, and pretty much all bad animals were behind her. The woman, oblivious to this all, stopped to look at a map to make sure she was indeed going the right way. All of the animals saw their chance and devoured her whole.
Moral- Unless you want to be eaten alive, don’t use apple scented shampoo.
Wasting Time
One day, a poor lady was so bored that she started reading some fables that her daughter sent her. After reading all of them, the lady realized that she could have been cleaning or something in the time that she spent reading the fables.
Moral- Don’t spend time reading HILARIOUS AND WONDERFULLY WRITTEN fables that your daughter sent you.
